Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Day 120: 10-10-10

I borrowed a book called 10-10-10 at the library yesterday. In a nutshell, if you make decisions based on the forecasted consequences 10 minutes from now, 10 months from now and 10 years from now, you should be able to make the right choice. The combination of this book and Nyquil causes me to dream about getting married (again). In fact, in this dream, I skip my wedding because I know deep down that this marriage (in the dream) will not work in the long run, although I will have hell to pay for in the immediate future. Comically enough, my ex-husband features in the dream and tells me that I should know by now what works and what doesn't.

I have recurring dreams like this. Other than dreams of wrong marriages, the other repeat is about exams. I forget that there is a final exam, or there is a subject that I have altogether forgotten to study for. Trauma in either situation, is evident.

This morning, I speak with a dear friend in London, who tells me that some days, she feels that the job-related stress may kill her. I hear my voice from four years ago echoing in hers. This is the moment to 10-10-10.

I drive with Julien to pick up his rugby (! -yes, that "football without pads" rugby) gear. The volunteer mom's house is immersed in shorts, socks, caps, jerseys and other gear. I ask her what put her into this predicament. She shrugs and then grins. "I just LOVE rugby!" Do what you love doing.

Then again, I chat with my friend in Tokyo. We are both busy keeping our heads above water with our businesses. What used to take minutes to earn, can now take a day if we are lucky. But we have 10-10-10'ed the situation. 10 years from now, do we want to find ourselves cogging it out in the big machine, or are we aiming for something more fulfilling? Do what you love doing.

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