Day 45: Energy

I spend the day at and around Stanford University. It seems that everyone is launching or getting ready to launch a new business. The quiet, laid back, sunny suburban town is actually buzzing with energy. I compare this to New York, where energy is evident in the big city look of the people. How is it that this quiet area of Palo Alto has such energy, but remains so calm?

This is the America that I love. New ideas are tried out, some leading to great success, and others falling by the wayside. The ones that fail are not stigmatized for life, as they would be in other societies. Rather, they wear their failure as a badge of honor, and simply try again. It reminds me of the Little Engine that Could.

Day 45: Blue Angels

The Blue Angels are doing loops in front of my house over the bay! Meanwhile Berlusconi is angry that he is not granted immunity for all the "interesting things" he is accused of doing, and the 85-year-old son of Brooke Astor is convicted of stealing from his late mom. This world is full of the awesome and the mundane.

I take full advantage of my "retirement", as my son puts it, and go to yoga in the morning, then proceed to engage in an afternoon of cooking a nice coq au vin with a great bottle of cabernet called "Kick Ass". This is going to be a good dinner.

Mornings of hikes and lunches with friends have given me inspiration for yet another business. The strange thing is that the idea came while I was becoming a human tripod on the mat wondering about discussions with friends and myself. Who said you had to be at your desk for great things to happen?

Dinner comes. Good friends, neighbors, and family try my coq au vin, and find it acceptable. Bottles of wine, great desserts, and great conversations carry the evening into the night. Tomorrow is still a weekday - carpe diem!

Day 44: School mom

This morning, I go to my child's school to volunteer in the vegetable garden. I spend time alone with lettuces, strawberries, swiss chard, basil, rosemary, sunflowers, lemon mint and white bugs that have infested a lemon tree. I volunteered as a gardener because I like gardening. I feel happy working alone in peace with plants and silent animals (worms). Then at lunch, I find out from my friend who is a working mother that I did it all wrong. Today's WSJ says if you have limited time and want to have the most positive impact on your child from your volunteering deed, you should volunteer where the child can see you in action. My kid didn't even see me at school today, but at least the plants are happy.

I don't have a stellar track record when it comes to volunteering for schools. One year, I received a call from a mom looking for a fellow volunteer. I explain to her that much as I would like to help, I have a full time job and four kids under the age of 5. "Oh my god, that's crazy. I will never call to ask you again!" I suppose word got around. For years, I was not harassed about volunteering. When we moved to California, I had to do it all over again. A mom called once to see if I would traffic control in front of the school. It had been a particularly trying day, and I think I might have become momentarily insane. I remember reciting all the horrible things I had to do at work, and then asking if she still wanted me to traffic control. That year, I didn't get any more requests. Once, at a friend's house, I met fellow parents. One lady exclaimed "Oh, you are the mom that doesn't do anything!" Yup, that's me. I have a friend who has four children and is a workaholic. She was even more blunt. "I have more money than I have time. May I write you a check?" People like she and I are the reason that working moms have a bad reputation amongst other moms. As I chat about this with my kids in the car today, my son says, "But you are not a working mom anymore." And that explains why I am going back on Monday to bake bread in a solar oven with 5th graders. At least this time, I will have maximum visibility and high positive impact on my child.

Day 43: INFP

Self-reflection is what INFPs like me do a lot, if not well. I have spent inordinate amounts of time thinking about myself recently. I am my TV, newspaper, research report. I would have thought I would know myself by now, but I am my own mystery. The other day, I dream of two babies crawling on the floor with a full set of teeth and braces. I remembering thinking in my dream that it was rather unusual for babies to have braces. Extremely mysterious.

Today, I have lunch with another INFP. We do not look at all alike, we did not grow up at all in similar environments, we do not have the same religion. But when she says something, I understand it so well. We express things differently, but there is instant understanding. I have a few friends like this. Years and space can separate us, but when we meet, not a beat has been missed. We pick up where we left off. And then, there are people you see everyday, and you wonder whether it is possible that you experienced a totally different planet. Both are very interesting relationships. It makes you wonder whether there are more than five senses and three dimensions.

Day 42: Mountain goat

This morning, I take a walk with two moms in the neighborhood. Before heading down to the school bus stop, I think of all sorts of excuses to send along with my kids as to why I cannot make the walk. Since I cannot think of a credible one, I roll down the hill with my kids laughing at me. They board their buses, and now I find myself standing with two extremely fit, attractive women. The walk is not a leisurely walk. It is a full blown hike, the sort that mountain goats like. As I huff and I puff uphill, we chat about various things, although my words are exhaled through gritted teeth. I find that many women around my age are reflecting on their lives. Well educated, professional women who have spent the last decade and a half caring for their family at home are feeling unfulfilled. Women like me who have worked throughout are also feeling that something needs to change. And what do we all do? We write blogs about our experiences! This is very interesting. Women like to share with others- why? And why don't men like to share their thoughts, or do they? There should be an interesting psychology piece that can be written around this theme. Meanwhile, if I can keep this routine of walking the hills once a week, I feel that I may become stronger.

Day 41:SWOT

This morning, Charlie chases a hare down our neighbor's back yard. Everyone but Charlie sees the hare sprint back up once Charlie goes down. It hops across the street to another yard to nibble the grass in peace.

I wonder whether it is coincidence that I liken Charlie to a hare yesterday. I wonder if I might be clairvoyant. This afternoon, as I awaken from my Sunday nap, I realize that Tarot cards are really a SWOT (as in Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats) analysis. It comes as an interesting revelation. Tomorrow, I will ask my lunch date to do a SWOT analysis on me.

I am going to hone my clairvoyance skills by guessing things what may happen tomorrow. If all goes well, I may have a nice parlor with a crystal ball one day.

Day 40: Hare

On the radio, they were talking about things not to cut back on even in tough times. First on the list was "do not cut your own hair." Second was "do not neglect personal hygiene". Third was to "take care of your health." I have been guilty of the second taboo, but not for economic reasons. Today, I commit the first taboo. Even I know better than to do it to myself. I look up "how to trim a collie", and practice on Charlie. The result is interesting. I don't think I would pass as a professional groomer. He looks good in a hare-like way. In fact, if I put a pair of long ears on him, he would look like an overgrown hare.

I take care of my health by going to my annual check-up this morning. As I cross the Golden Gate Bridge, I hear a white van honking from behind. She is simultaneously waving her hand out of her window at the people in pink walking to fund raise for breast cancer. As I lag behind and follow her, I notice she honks and waves all the way across the bridge. The pink people wave back as they see her approach. What a beautiful way to share a common value. I read a book today about how happiness is good for your health. The radio says stress is bad for many things, one which is weight gain. Today, I make a vow to be happy and not stress, if I can help it. I hope Charlie feels the same.