I love it when the kids tell my husband, "Maman a dit que..." Mommy has said...therefore it is final, so it sounds. If only it were. This afternoon, my husband, Maxime, Charlie and I go for a walk up the hill. We meet a few other dog walkers, one who says to me that Maxime looks just like my husband! In fact, he does. The eternal baby faces... When Maxime was in pre-school, all the moms would hail him in the streets. When I asked him why they all liked him, he said, "Mommy, why wouldn't they like me? I'm cute, I'm smart, and I'm well dressed." I suppose this is why I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary today. Not that the anniversary really means that much. We were living together and had Julien before we were married. Given that my requirement for a husband was that he was poor and self-made, he has kept his side of the bargain. We had a great wedding at the Buffalo city hall in snow boots. The elevator man took us to the 13th floor and told us "Dog license to the left, marriage license to the right." The clerk read us our vows from a magenta laminated piece of paper, and we had to call the typist away from her desk as witness. For lunch, we stopped by the Husky Inn on the Canadian side of the border to wolf down some Husky cheese burger, before picking Julien up from daycare.
Now, I wonder if I have kept my side of the bargain... He wanted four kids. He has five. Other than that, I choose not to think too much. As the kids say, "Maman a dit..." , so it must be final.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Day 130: Romper Room
When I was a kindergartner, there was a TV show called Romper Room. The teacher would hold up a magic mirror and call out random names of kids who were watching the show. Now, I know that Amy and Patty, Michael and Christopher, Marie, Simon, Arvin, Aya, Maxime, Noreen, Pat, Joan, Paula, Lucy, Jacques, Pascale, Eva and many more are out there, anxious to get a head start on the new year.
In Japan, the first dream of the year is supposed to have special meaning. Hatsuyume is typically the dream you had last night - the dream between January 1st and 2nd. I recall mine to the kids at breakfast. There are two types of friends in my dream- one type that looks like a friend but really isn't, and another that may not even seem friendly, but actually really cares about you. As I describe the first type, Camille says, "I know, that's the type that uses you." In my hatsuyume, this type was certainly using me. In fact, I was washing a lot of dirty dishes for the first type. Obtuse though I am, I remember thinking in my dream that it didn't seem right.
In any event, I have missed yoga, so I decide to go to the pool. Maxime says he'll join me, as he enjoyed it yesterday. "It's like a bath for the emotion", says he, as I explain that this is what meditation is supposed to be. So, after breakfast, Maxime, Charlie and I meditate for 13 (shorter) minutes (than yesterday) and go to the pool, where we share the pool, and then the hot tub, with an elderly couple who are flirting with each other. Awkward as it seems to us, it's nice to see that hope springs eternal.
Lunch is meat loaf with garlic, onion, egg plants, carrots and mushroom. We then drive up Mount Tamalpais to the East Peak (2,571 ft high) and hike up to a fire station outlook to view San Francisco, Marin and the East Bay. Charlie is happy to be home, and promptly sprawls on the floor. My inclination is to do this too, but instead, I make a mushroom soup to be followed by 5 cheeses (thanks to Costco that now even carries mimolette) for dinner.
At the back of my mind, I am thinking of what needs to be done to make my business work. Just like Amy and Patty, Michael and Christopher, Marie, Simon, Arvin, Aya, Maxime, Noreen, Pat, Joan, Paula, Lucy, Jacques, Pascale, Eva and many more out there.
In Japan, the first dream of the year is supposed to have special meaning. Hatsuyume is typically the dream you had last night - the dream between January 1st and 2nd. I recall mine to the kids at breakfast. There are two types of friends in my dream- one type that looks like a friend but really isn't, and another that may not even seem friendly, but actually really cares about you. As I describe the first type, Camille says, "I know, that's the type that uses you." In my hatsuyume, this type was certainly using me. In fact, I was washing a lot of dirty dishes for the first type. Obtuse though I am, I remember thinking in my dream that it didn't seem right.
In any event, I have missed yoga, so I decide to go to the pool. Maxime says he'll join me, as he enjoyed it yesterday. "It's like a bath for the emotion", says he, as I explain that this is what meditation is supposed to be. So, after breakfast, Maxime, Charlie and I meditate for 13 (shorter) minutes (than yesterday) and go to the pool, where we share the pool, and then the hot tub, with an elderly couple who are flirting with each other. Awkward as it seems to us, it's nice to see that hope springs eternal.
Lunch is meat loaf with garlic, onion, egg plants, carrots and mushroom. We then drive up Mount Tamalpais to the East Peak (2,571 ft high) and hike up to a fire station outlook to view San Francisco, Marin and the East Bay. Charlie is happy to be home, and promptly sprawls on the floor. My inclination is to do this too, but instead, I make a mushroom soup to be followed by 5 cheeses (thanks to Costco that now even carries mimolette) for dinner.
At the back of my mind, I am thinking of what needs to be done to make my business work. Just like Amy and Patty, Michael and Christopher, Marie, Simon, Arvin, Aya, Maxime, Noreen, Pat, Joan, Paula, Lucy, Jacques, Pascale, Eva and many more out there.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Day 129: 01/01/10
Happy New Year! I have been waiting for 2010 to arrive. As we enter the new year, Maxime and I are frantically trying to complete a jigsaw puzzle. It is a race against time, the goal being to complete before the end of 2009. We finish it 10 minutes into 2010. As the kids toast with apple cider, Maxime tells me it's actually better to have missed the deadline, as we now already have one major accomplishment early on in the year. I high five to that! This is the kind of optimistic thinking that I aspire to in 2010.
At 9 in the morning, I salute the first day of the year again. After 13 very long minutes of meditation, we call family in France and Japan, swim a few laps at the pool and sit down for lunch. New Year's Day in Japan is all about visiting relatives. Here, as we have no relatives, it's a bit of a non-event. We do what we pretty much do any other day, until it's time to head to our neighbors' for the first glass of champagne. We exchange fun information about our adventures from 2009 and toast to our bright future this year. It's a nice mellow start.
At 9 in the morning, I salute the first day of the year again. After 13 very long minutes of meditation, we call family in France and Japan, swim a few laps at the pool and sit down for lunch. New Year's Day in Japan is all about visiting relatives. Here, as we have no relatives, it's a bit of a non-event. We do what we pretty much do any other day, until it's time to head to our neighbors' for the first glass of champagne. We exchange fun information about our adventures from 2009 and toast to our bright future this year. It's a nice mellow start.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Day 128: Oomisoka ("oh-me-so-ka")
The last day of the year is upon us. Most of the world have flipped into 2010. I find oomisoka, as we call it in Japan to be non-eventful in America. There is very little that is different than any ordinary day. In Japan, there is a huge amount of hustle and bustle with people doing their last minute shopping and the big house cleaning of the year. At Costco this morning, the line is non-existent, as we check out our food. At lunchtime, the pool has all of 5 people lapping.
As Japan rises for the first morning of the year, I call my parents and pass the phone around to their grandchildren. The ritual will be repeated later for my in-laws and sister who live in France. Re-setting the clock once a year is a good idea. My goal for 2010 is to make enough money to keep my family happy and healthy, while ensuring that the "money-making process" keeps me happy and healthy as well. I need to make sure not to offer little pieces of my soul in exchange for money anymore. My soul is all I have for the next half century or so (for we live long in my family). For starters, I will sit and meditate (or pretend to) everyday for the next 72 days.
Meanwhile, I must tend to dinner plans, starting with toshikoshi soba - Japanese buckwheat noodle which guarantees longevity from year to year. There is also the kuromame my friend's mother gave me. Beans are also good, as it represents diligence and persistence, which translates into success. If you don't know why it translates into success, I suggest you read "Outliers" by Malcom Gladwell at the library. According to him, 10,000 hours is the magic number to success, assuming you are innately talented to begin with. This translates into 10 years according to Malcolm, which reminds me of the philosophy professor who gave me my one and only "C" in college. 10 hours x 1000 days is only 3 years, I think, as I twist on the floor for my PT (physical therapy) homework. I suppose some people take it easy... 10 years indeed. hmpph! But then again, there is the saying that "too much is just as bad as too little". The middle road presents itself again. For 2010, I suspect I need to be less demanding of myself and my family if I want to stay on the middle road. Sounds easy enough, unless you are me.... Happy Oomisoka!
As Japan rises for the first morning of the year, I call my parents and pass the phone around to their grandchildren. The ritual will be repeated later for my in-laws and sister who live in France. Re-setting the clock once a year is a good idea. My goal for 2010 is to make enough money to keep my family happy and healthy, while ensuring that the "money-making process" keeps me happy and healthy as well. I need to make sure not to offer little pieces of my soul in exchange for money anymore. My soul is all I have for the next half century or so (for we live long in my family). For starters, I will sit and meditate (or pretend to) everyday for the next 72 days.
Meanwhile, I must tend to dinner plans, starting with toshikoshi soba - Japanese buckwheat noodle which guarantees longevity from year to year. There is also the kuromame my friend's mother gave me. Beans are also good, as it represents diligence and persistence, which translates into success. If you don't know why it translates into success, I suggest you read "Outliers" by Malcom Gladwell at the library. According to him, 10,000 hours is the magic number to success, assuming you are innately talented to begin with. This translates into 10 years according to Malcolm, which reminds me of the philosophy professor who gave me my one and only "C" in college. 10 hours x 1000 days is only 3 years, I think, as I twist on the floor for my PT (physical therapy) homework. I suppose some people take it easy... 10 years indeed. hmpph! But then again, there is the saying that "too much is just as bad as too little". The middle road presents itself again. For 2010, I suspect I need to be less demanding of myself and my family if I want to stay on the middle road. Sounds easy enough, unless you are me.... Happy Oomisoka!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Day 126 & 127: Optical Illusion and Japanese
It's not even the weekend and I am abridging my writings. It is year end, and I have been busy socializing. Yoga yesterday morning with a "mini Franco" mis-fired, as I can't make out his instructions half the time. As I pause to look around and figure out what pose I should be taking, I take a little sip of tea from my cup. Mini-F cocks an eyebrow and say, "Drinking tea? In my class? Well, that's a first one." I knee jerk telepathize to him, "It's the last one for you, too." What was supposed to bring me calm, brought me minor irritation, but I got all my physical therapy homework, and my seated meditation homework done, so I forgive him. Adios, Franco!
I host a luncheon for the retired, the jobless, the entrepreneurs and the in-betweens. We have a wonderful potluck that flows seamlessly into the evening. I have always thought that Agatha Christie's "Murder in Mesopotamia" was nonsense, but now I know it can happen. How could you not realize an old boyfriend, who comes back a few years later under a different name and becomes your husband? At lunch, I greet someone I know, but didn't realize it was one and the same as the person now being introduced as my friend's brother, until he points it out to me. What an idiot I am. There were clues everwhere, but I failed to see them, as I was so convinced that Harry was Harry and not the brother. This is where your brain plays optical illusion with your eyes.
Today is a series of catching up with friends, starting with coffee in Mill Valley, a chat with a friend in NY, lunch in Larkspur, and soon a cocktail party in the neighborhood. Some have physically moved on to different settings, while some remain where they have been. What's interesting is how some can let go, and others have a hard time doing this. It does not seem to have much to do with whether you are still physically "there" or not, either. Perhaps some people are more mentally mobile than others. I imagine my friend competently dealing with the work at hand, mentally counting the acorns she stores for the winter, while dreaming of the great things she'll do when the spring comes around. In times like these, we all have to become little squirrels stashing away our little acorns until abundance returns. Let us hope that 2010 will bring abundance to us all. Until then, we all need a few acorns in our little nests.
At dinner, the whole family turns on me, and criticizes me for not speaking Japanese with them. It is all my fault that they are not fluent in the language. Even my very French husband chides me. He used to be fluent in Japanese, BEFORE he met me. So, in 2010, I can only speak Japanese to them. 2010 is going to be one long monologue. For starters, I teach them how to say honorable mother - Okasama. As I tell them how smart they are, they speculate. "You have a good forehead." "You have a big brain." The way this is going, 2010 will be hilarious.
I host a luncheon for the retired, the jobless, the entrepreneurs and the in-betweens. We have a wonderful potluck that flows seamlessly into the evening. I have always thought that Agatha Christie's "Murder in Mesopotamia" was nonsense, but now I know it can happen. How could you not realize an old boyfriend, who comes back a few years later under a different name and becomes your husband? At lunch, I greet someone I know, but didn't realize it was one and the same as the person now being introduced as my friend's brother, until he points it out to me. What an idiot I am. There were clues everwhere, but I failed to see them, as I was so convinced that Harry was Harry and not the brother. This is where your brain plays optical illusion with your eyes.
Today is a series of catching up with friends, starting with coffee in Mill Valley, a chat with a friend in NY, lunch in Larkspur, and soon a cocktail party in the neighborhood. Some have physically moved on to different settings, while some remain where they have been. What's interesting is how some can let go, and others have a hard time doing this. It does not seem to have much to do with whether you are still physically "there" or not, either. Perhaps some people are more mentally mobile than others. I imagine my friend competently dealing with the work at hand, mentally counting the acorns she stores for the winter, while dreaming of the great things she'll do when the spring comes around. In times like these, we all have to become little squirrels stashing away our little acorns until abundance returns. Let us hope that 2010 will bring abundance to us all. Until then, we all need a few acorns in our little nests.
At dinner, the whole family turns on me, and criticizes me for not speaking Japanese with them. It is all my fault that they are not fluent in the language. Even my very French husband chides me. He used to be fluent in Japanese, BEFORE he met me. So, in 2010, I can only speak Japanese to them. 2010 is going to be one long monologue. For starters, I teach them how to say honorable mother - Okasama. As I tell them how smart they are, they speculate. "You have a good forehead." "You have a big brain." The way this is going, 2010 will be hilarious.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Day 125: The Last Week of the Year
Many of you are on vacation or at work but really on vacation mentally. I try to be productive since there is no salary to count on anymore. This is the tough part of being a start up. If you stop, the business stops, too. But business can only work if the world is working with you.
I decide not to spin my wheels meaninglessly. Instead, I take Charlie for a walk up the hills, go pick up Aya from her sleepover, and drive Julien to the DMV. I stop by the library on my way home. If the busy part of business is resting, I can at least stock up on ideas and wisdom by reading. I sense the "good student" in me for feeling this way. If you try more, you feel like you will get more out of life. According to someone I had drinks with recently, this is an illusion that many women suffer from. When something doesn't work out, women tend to think it was because they didn't try hard enough, or they weren't qualified. So they try harder, and become more qualified. But, in fact, the playing field is not level, and sometimes, it's stacked against them. I hate to think this is so, but I have a feeling that there is some truth to this cynical view on life.
So, forget about self improvement tonight. I think I might open that mystery novel instead.
I decide not to spin my wheels meaninglessly. Instead, I take Charlie for a walk up the hills, go pick up Aya from her sleepover, and drive Julien to the DMV. I stop by the library on my way home. If the busy part of business is resting, I can at least stock up on ideas and wisdom by reading. I sense the "good student" in me for feeling this way. If you try more, you feel like you will get more out of life. According to someone I had drinks with recently, this is an illusion that many women suffer from. When something doesn't work out, women tend to think it was because they didn't try hard enough, or they weren't qualified. So they try harder, and become more qualified. But, in fact, the playing field is not level, and sometimes, it's stacked against them. I hate to think this is so, but I have a feeling that there is some truth to this cynical view on life.
So, forget about self improvement tonight. I think I might open that mystery novel instead.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Day 123 & 124: Gift
Yoga, the pool, puzzles and lots of sleep, have kept me in a constant state of meditation this weekend. Too much thinking is as bad as too little. I find that my spirits droop after a while. I may need that Sun Box that my neighbor Lynn told me about. It also shows that I have not really mastered meditation.
This morning I deposit my daughter at her friend's house for a sleepover and find that her friend's mom has just recovered from a stroke. This is a shock to the mom and me. She is the picture of youth, health and happiness, and yet it can happen. Life is truly a gift, that can be taken from you at any time. I am very thankful that she has recovered.
Since there are only 3 kids here tonight, I try imagining a house without kids, which brings me one level lower in my spirits. But then, I realize that it's the house, which is too big. No wonder people downsize when the kids move out. I can see myself living in a small place with my husband, and feeling quite happy as long as we find interesting things to do of which we have many.
As the year draws to an end, it is both exciting and nail biting to imagine what 2010 will bring to us. Whatever it may be, I feel that I should receive it as a gift.
This morning I deposit my daughter at her friend's house for a sleepover and find that her friend's mom has just recovered from a stroke. This is a shock to the mom and me. She is the picture of youth, health and happiness, and yet it can happen. Life is truly a gift, that can be taken from you at any time. I am very thankful that she has recovered.
Since there are only 3 kids here tonight, I try imagining a house without kids, which brings me one level lower in my spirits. But then, I realize that it's the house, which is too big. No wonder people downsize when the kids move out. I can see myself living in a small place with my husband, and feeling quite happy as long as we find interesting things to do of which we have many.
As the year draws to an end, it is both exciting and nail biting to imagine what 2010 will bring to us. Whatever it may be, I feel that I should receive it as a gift.
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