My friends who read this blog have told me that my life sounds idyllic. What you must all keep in mind is that this is a PG13 blog, so blood and sweat are kept intentionally under covers. You should view this blog as any old corporate annual report. Do you know of any company that talks about its glass ceilings, company politics, or lack of adequate internal controls in its annual reports? While the contents of an annual report are true, it is not the whole truth. Just read your own company's report, and you'll see what I mean.
So, while my life may seem like elegant decadence itself - yoga, swimming, meditation, dinners, massages, and general love and happiness - this is the truth, but not the whole truth.
This evening, I chat with my two friends in Tokyo on Skype again. One is very athletic and runs a half marathon once a month. The other abhors any kind of cardiovascular activity. I once took her to yoga - she stomped out half way in utter disgust. Neither of them weighs 100 lbs, so I guess it doesn't matter whether you exercise or not. You are what you eat.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Day 137: Hope and Fear
Hope and fear, happiness and sadness are intertwined in life. I wake up to see the sun rise over the East Bay and Angel Island - such a beautiful view. Then, Julien comes to remind me of his driving lesson on the HIGHWAY!!! Hope and fear.
My husband and I resort to yoga for happiness where the teacher quotes the Dalai Lama - "Breathe in compassion for yourself, breathe out compassion for others." I double-breathe in compassion for myself.
This evening, I find five 14-year-old girls at home exerting high energy. With a total of 8 children full of energy and hope, how can I not feel exhilarated? Even so, I warn them to speak in whispers and even adopt pantomime after 10 o'clock. I also recommend using the pillow to muffle the sound if they must giggle, for giggle is what girls do well.
My husband and I resort to yoga for happiness where the teacher quotes the Dalai Lama - "Breathe in compassion for yourself, breathe out compassion for others." I double-breathe in compassion for myself.
This evening, I find five 14-year-old girls at home exerting high energy. With a total of 8 children full of energy and hope, how can I not feel exhilarated? Even so, I warn them to speak in whispers and even adopt pantomime after 10 o'clock. I also recommend using the pillow to muffle the sound if they must giggle, for giggle is what girls do well.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Day 136: Rebound
The day starts out foggy as I drive Maxime to school early with his bigger-than-life trombone, but the sun comes out mid-morning. I have recovered from the doldrums and plough through my "to do's". I speak with a friend in Maryland, who helps me regain perspective even more. In the afternoon, I run errands, and then on impulse, decide to squeeze in a few minutes of swimming. As I rush to swoop up my trombone player, he calls to say he'd like to stay at the library a little, so take it easy. I waddle back into the sauna, and do exactly that.
Back home, I continue with my to do list and feel a lot more energized. I am more assertive. I find new ways to make the business work, and get on the horn to ask for work. In Japan, my partners are working away through the weekend.
The days are getting longer, I realize. After winter comes spring.
This evening, we discover that Camille has grown taller than her older sister. 3 years younger and still growing. No wonder she is tired and has to take a nap. Camille turns to me and asks whether I get tired as I shrink. I hope not.
Back home, I continue with my to do list and feel a lot more energized. I am more assertive. I find new ways to make the business work, and get on the horn to ask for work. In Japan, my partners are working away through the weekend.
The days are getting longer, I realize. After winter comes spring.
This evening, we discover that Camille has grown taller than her older sister. 3 years younger and still growing. No wonder she is tired and has to take a nap. Camille turns to me and asks whether I get tired as I shrink. I hope not.
Day 135: Grow Up
Over time, I have found that many people have difficulty sleeping at night due to anxiety. Happy-go-lucky runs in my genes, and so I hardly ever have this problem. But, it does happen once in a while. As I toss and turn in bed, I remember a friend telling me that you have to love misery to be an entrepreneur. Another friend speaks to me in my sleep, "Well, DARLING HONEY... You know what you have to do."
What I have to do is to snap out of it, and get my rearend in gear again. So, I try. But I am rather lethargic due to lack of sleep. By, 4 in the afternoon, I am on Skype again with my partners in Japan. Our project is progressing and there are lots to be done. They are working full speed. I am embarassed to be wallowing in my puddle of self-pity (I blame part of it on the foggy weather).
At 7, my friends gather here for dinner in honor of an out-of-town classmate. I am not the only one looking tired. We are all trying to figure out the new rules of the game. Instead of complaining "who changed the rules?", I decide to snap out of it. It's great to have friends and family that travel through the journey of growing up alongside you.
What I have to do is to snap out of it, and get my rearend in gear again. So, I try. But I am rather lethargic due to lack of sleep. By, 4 in the afternoon, I am on Skype again with my partners in Japan. Our project is progressing and there are lots to be done. They are working full speed. I am embarassed to be wallowing in my puddle of self-pity (I blame part of it on the foggy weather).
At 7, my friends gather here for dinner in honor of an out-of-town classmate. I am not the only one looking tired. We are all trying to figure out the new rules of the game. Instead of complaining "who changed the rules?", I decide to snap out of it. It's great to have friends and family that travel through the journey of growing up alongside you.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Day 134: Peace
Every time I launch my internet, BBC News comes up, and it's Sudan, Nigeria, Yemen & Oman (the "Yeah man", "Oh man" combo), or some other country that is about to blow up. Does it feel like we plug one hole in the world peace balloon, and another one opens up? Is it a futile effort? Are we going to die anyway, so why live?
We shall live! Just because we are going to sleep in bed, doesn't mean we're not going to make our beds in the morning. Just because I am growing older and less beautiful, doesn't mean I'm going to stop brushing my hair and teeth in the morning.
I skipped meditation this morning, so I meditate while swimming. After my Costco run and cooking for dinner while eating my grapefruit, I talk to Charlie about the meaning of life and love. He is in full agreement, as he nods and lifts his paw in a "How!" kind of way.
Julien returns from his first rugby practice with all his bones intact. We feast on curry, and then go back to do what we all can (violin, homework, work, blog and nap) to live our lives to our fullest.
We shall live! Just because we are going to sleep in bed, doesn't mean we're not going to make our beds in the morning. Just because I am growing older and less beautiful, doesn't mean I'm going to stop brushing my hair and teeth in the morning.
I skipped meditation this morning, so I meditate while swimming. After my Costco run and cooking for dinner while eating my grapefruit, I talk to Charlie about the meaning of life and love. He is in full agreement, as he nods and lifts his paw in a "How!" kind of way.
Julien returns from his first rugby practice with all his bones intact. We feast on curry, and then go back to do what we all can (violin, homework, work, blog and nap) to live our lives to our fullest.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Day 133: Division
The kids are back in school again. Yes!! Or so I thought. Around lunchtime, it's kind of lonely. Around 2, I go grocery shopping, swing by the pool and then come home to jump on a conference call with my partners in Japan. Meanwhile, Aya comes in with a form for me to sign, Charlie is groaning on the carpet and I feel the need to explain that it is not me. Maxime comes with his homework on division with decimal points. 2 hours later, when I am done with my call, Maxime is in full rage mode. As we prepare dinner together, he has regained confidence and is shaking his hips while moving the decimal points on both the divisor and the dividend to the right with an encouraging "hmm hmm hmm" sound. His father comes home when all is well, and peers at the homework saying "Ahh, division." Apparently, it wasn't his favorite topic either, and his math teacher kept him after school for a couple of hours days on end, trying to reach comprehension. I, on the other hand, never had any problems with division. Look where it has gotten us now. My husband is a rocket scientist with a PhD in mechanical engineering, while I am a blogger. Life is funny.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Day 132: Yemen
At dinner tonight, I ask where Yemen is anyway. Aya says, it's right next to Oman. Which then turns to the topic of "Jammin', Jammin' in the name of the Lord." Whereas, Julien looks surprised and says "You know Bob Marley!?"
Thanks to my friend Noreen, not only do I know Bob Marley, I actually know how to sing a few songs of his. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6gp5dn5cw0
When I was off-the-boat-immigrant, Noreen berated me for not knowing what jammin' was all about, and proceeded to teach me the song, at which point some other colleagues joined in. Many long, tedious days and nights on the desk, I would find myself singing a tune from Bob Marley, Mary Poppins, or something equally outlandish and find some similarly "beyond sanity" colleagues sing along.
I learn that one of these colleagues, after regaining youth, has managed to break a few bones skiiing in Vermont on a frozen lake. All I can say is "Ouch!!" and that pride comes before the fall. Just because you used to ski to school in St. Catherine, Ontario, doesn't mean you can ski on a frozen lake, Pat. But, it's good to have that fighting spirit going. I think I have a lot of fighting spirit in me, but my kids laugh and remind me about the hypothetical situation of meeting a mountain lion on the hill. In a moment of weakness, I allegedly told them that I would simply sit down and tell the mountain lion to "just eat me". I am sure that my bones would be easy to crack, and would not be too sharp, either. My physical therapist can attest to this, as she managed to crack a few bones tonight.
Thanks to my friend Noreen, not only do I know Bob Marley, I actually know how to sing a few songs of his. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6gp5dn5cw0
When I was off-the-boat-immigrant, Noreen berated me for not knowing what jammin' was all about, and proceeded to teach me the song, at which point some other colleagues joined in. Many long, tedious days and nights on the desk, I would find myself singing a tune from Bob Marley, Mary Poppins, or something equally outlandish and find some similarly "beyond sanity" colleagues sing along.
I learn that one of these colleagues, after regaining youth, has managed to break a few bones skiiing in Vermont on a frozen lake. All I can say is "Ouch!!" and that pride comes before the fall. Just because you used to ski to school in St. Catherine, Ontario, doesn't mean you can ski on a frozen lake, Pat. But, it's good to have that fighting spirit going. I think I have a lot of fighting spirit in me, but my kids laugh and remind me about the hypothetical situation of meeting a mountain lion on the hill. In a moment of weakness, I allegedly told them that I would simply sit down and tell the mountain lion to "just eat me". I am sure that my bones would be easy to crack, and would not be too sharp, either. My physical therapist can attest to this, as she managed to crack a few bones tonight.
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